There are kids in Africa that wipe with their hands! What a waste...

Our house was hit.

We are the victims of a very serious incident.

A crime.

Uncalled for. Unexpected. Unimaginable.

Fort Street, Boise Idaho.

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011.

12:32am.

Call for back up.

We never thought it would happen to us.

{how could they do something like this}

Caught off guard.

{we had no idea}

Violated.

{why us}

Toilet Papered.

{you little jerks}

The perpetrators are more than likely identified as emo-north-ender kids, wearing skinny jeans and dirty hair that is wiped to the side. They are thought to have stole their yuppy parent's expensive roll of ultra-double-comfort-hug-a-grizzly-bear charmin toilet paper.

Yeah.

You know.

The expensive stuff.

{now, don't get me wrong here. we love the north end. we love living here. we have cruiser bikes. we shop at the co-op. and we hope to have little north-ender kids of our own...one day. it's incidences like this, that continue to reaffirm our decision to wait to put the buns in the oven. and on a side note-we like angel soft more than charmin, so there! we don't even like your squishy-bear toilet paper you little jerks.}

bad boys. bad boys.

whatcha gonna do. whatcha gonna do.

 whatcha gonna do when they come for you.

bad boys. bad boys.

{we didn't really call the cops}

I told Chris it was payback from his childhood.
{you know, back in the day}

Payback for when he was a part of a gang.

{Yes, a gang}
{our future north-ender kids will not be joining a gang or using charmin}

The name of the gang, you ask?
{great question, thanks for asking}

The TPB

That's gangster talk for:

The Toilet Paper Bandits.

{holler}

They were rascals.

Rascals with toilet paper.

And they Knew. How. To. Use. It.

{It's payback I tell ya, now involving innocent victims, such as myself, who never toilet papered anything but her own tooshie}

The legacy of the TPB lives on.

You little jerks.
=)